4 Ways Christian Women Can Promote Biblical Marriage
For as long as I can remember I always wanted to be married. It wasn’t the fairy tale wedding I dreamed of nor was I looking to claim a picture-perfect marriage that was being played out in front of me. Yet, I still wanted to be married and never looked at my future without seeing a husband beside me.
Are little girls growing up in today’s culture still dreaming of a wedding? Certainly, the media would have us believe that marriage is optional and should only occur if all the cards line up to benefit both parties. But, is that reality?
The reality is that the world is sinful. It’s always been sinful and it always will be until Christ sets up His perfect Kingdom. Today social media, secular news, and a boldness to shout one’s opinions have led many to believe that everyone holds to the view that marriage is a thing of the past. (Maybe not marriage altogether, but the commitment to stay married.)
Ironically, unbelievers are still getting married. They know it’s a good thing but they want it on their terms.
What is a biblical marriage?
“Marriage is a covenant, a sacred bond between a man and a woman instituted by and publicly entered into before God and normally consummated by sexual intercourse.” This definition comes from the brochure The Bible’s Teaching on Marriage and Family, a concise publication on what the biblical definitions of marriage and family are.
Andreas Kostenberger is the author of this brochure as well as the book God, Marriage and Family. Twice Michael (my husband) has taught through the book in a Sunday school class and each time we have witnessed marriages truly be transformed. I highly recommend the book.
Now more than ever, Christians need to not only know what defines a biblical marriage but fully affirm it in their lives, conversations and on social media platforms.
This is a women’s blog where we desire to help all women grow in godliness and in the knowledge of God. How can we, as women, fight the growing voice of a liberal society?
4 Ways Christian Women Can Promote Biblical Marriage
Respect your husband
God created us to be a helper to our husbands (Genesis 2:18). Helper is a good thing! It does not mean slave, it does not mean doormat. If your husband is a believer, serving and helping him is no different than our call to love and serve one another in the church. Living with a believer gives us ample opportunity to selflessly live out the ‘one-anothers’ in Scripture.
REAL LIFE TIP: Our husband will not always love us like Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25), but we are responsible for our behavior. We are to continue loving him, serving him, supporting him and showing him kindness in all circumstances (I’m not talking about being subjected to abuse). There is much gain when we maintain godly conduct and he is won over by it.
If your husband is not a believer, this is your greatest evangelistic opportunity! I strongly encourage listening to the Women’s Hope Podcast with Kevin Laymon entitled Winning Him Without a Word - From Convicted Felon to Redeemed Saint. Kevin also wrote about how wives can be a Pe 3-1 wife. This isn’t just for wives of unbelievers! Oh, ladies, there is much truth for every wife in his article.
Find joy in your role as a wife
Are you rejoicing daily that the Lord has blessed you with a husband? Or are you letting his behavior prevent you from thanking God for him?
In marriage, we will daily make dozens of decisions to be joyful amid failed expectations, mile-long to do lists, and trials that seem overwhelming at the time. Your husband can be your greatest asset or your biggest roadblock to growing in Christ-likeness…and it isn’t up to him which one he will be. It’s your choice.
Will you wake up each day grateful and eager to glorify Christ or will you choose to give in to your fleshly desires? This is hard for me. I may wake up ready to follow Christ, but my how quickly I let the wheel of circumstances drag me under and crush my joy! God is the giver of all good things and our husbands are the best gift, outside of Christ, that we will receive this side of Heaven. If we can remember that throughout each day we will begin to see our husbands as another way the Lord is blessing us.
REAL LIFE TIP: When your husband sins against you, stop and pray about your response. When he blesses you, thank him abundantly and give praise to God. Don’t miss any opportunity to see God’s loving hand in your role as a wife.
Be intimate with your husband
Intimacy in marriage is a gift and yet it is often seen as the gift of socks at Christmastime...practical but not exactly the gift you really wanted. Discontentment, pornography, adultery, and emotional detachment are just a few of the results of a neglected sex life.
Because of Hollywood, media, and feminism (to name the big ones), sexuality in marriage has taken a huge hit. No longer are men and women seeing marriage as the only place to enjoy sex. After all, we are living in an instant gratification, no strings attached society.
As Christian women, we must be bold to call out immorality when we see it or hear of it. Make a stand to not watch sexually immoral shows and movies. Say something and offer help when you hear of a young unmarried couple living together. Be available to give godly counsel to women in the church on issues of intimacy.
And most important of all, enjoy intimacy with your husband. If that sounds like an insane concept I recommend finding an older woman in your church and together read through Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow.
REAL LIFE TIP: Someone is always going to be tired, have a headache or have bad breath. Be the one who will overcome the obstacles and realize that without intimacy your marriage will never be as good as God designed it to be.
Encourage young women to seek godly husbands
Young women are being bombarded with the world’s opinions on femininity, roles and what makes a good husband. WE have to give voice to the beauty of biblical womanhood.
Look around your church, are there young unmarried women? Have a conversation with one, ask her if she would like to spend a day in your home observing your life. Start a Bible or book study with one or two young women. This is a great opportunity to counsel them through their struggles and sins. Just like I pray for my children to find godly spouses, we must encourage young women to actively be praying daily for God to provide.
REAL LIFE TIP: You will always be busy. If you surrender to that, young women will never be taught by a godly woman. We must make the time, even if it’s on a Sunday morning after church. One conversation from an older, Christian, married woman could make a huge impact in the life of a young lady.
Marriage is filled with trials and frustrations, yet this blessed institution brings us more joy and love than any other earthly relationship. Hollywood will fight to portray marriage as a ball and chain situation, but Hollywood is NOT reality.
Romans 1 tells us that all of humankind knows there is a God. Whether they actively deny His existence or ignore His power, they know there is something great in every Christian marriage and they want it. Show the world how great a biblical marriage is and use it as an opportunity to teach them about Christ.