The Truth About Good Sex

Sex is not a bad thing. Nor should it be a taboo subject among Christians. Not only should the subject not be off-limits, it should be talked about regularly in Christian circles. Why?

Because as a Christian people, we desperately need to grasp a proper understanding of sex, biblically speaking. Otherwise, we will continue to allow our culture to teach us instead of the Lord. I submit to you that the only way to change the tide on this trend is to have some real dialogue on the matter in a way that honors and glorifies our Lord. We must stop avoiding this subject among our sisters.

Cultural Influence

We live in a culture that has idolized the act of sex and turned it into something the Lord never intended it to be. Books like Fifty Shades of Grey and movies like Magic Mike have made women – unfortunately even Christian women – more confused than ever about what to expect from our sexual relationships.

Our culture has even changed our language on how we approach the subject. They teach our children in schools at ages as young as ten years old that sex outside the covenant of marriage (and at very early ages) is natural and we only need to be safe when we engage in it. According to our culture, sex is merely an act between two animals and holds no seriousness.

Even more devastating than that is the amount of women who are brainwashed by the culture to think things like pornography and physical abuse are simply ways to increase intimacy in the marriage bed. Dear sister in Christ, please hear me when I tell you - pre-marital or extra-marital sex, erotica literature and movies, and pornography are all based solely on lust and they do not reflect God’s design for a committed, covenant sexual relationship between husband and wife.

Once a lustful temptation is carried through to sin, it brings about death. (James 1:13-15) The death of a healthy marriage bed in this case. Sex distortions are not at all what the Lord intended when He designed our bodies to work in harmony with our husband’s body in the confines of the covenant of marriage.

The Lord’s Original Design

Sex is a gift from the Lord. Rightly done within a marriage bed, sex is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Marriage is a covenantal relationship between husband, wife, and the Lord Himself. Sex is the resulting gift the Lord has bestowed upon the married couple. (Genesis 2:25) The Lord has made sex a pleasurable thing and, within marriage, it is appropriate to find joy in its celebration of spousal oneness.

This area of the covenantal relationship is where the culture will never be able to teach us the true purpose of sex. God Himself designed man and woman. (Genesis 2:21-24) Without getting inappropriately descriptive, consider the oneness that happens when a husband and wife join in physical union.

It is so much more than a physical union. A married, Christian couple experiences the very presence of the Holy Spirit within their oneness. Godliness is the aspect of the sexual relationship that the culture can never understand, yet is constantly desperate to imitate.

The Holy Spirit: Our Culture’s Missing Link

Consider this concept with me for a moment. Every believer has the Holy Spirit living within them at the time of salvation. (Romans 8:9-11) The indwelling Spirit means that when we participate in marital oneness with our husbands, we are inviting the Holy Spirit not only to bless what we are doing but also to take part in the union along with us (1 Corinthians 6:15-20).

While this is true for every single thing we do in our earthly tents, consider the magnitude of impact just this one idea could have on your marriage:

Zero “Shades of Grey”

No longer is there a question of whether or not we should participate in the lustful acts mentioned earlier that {wrongly} promise to increase intimacy. Such lustful activities clearly grieve the Holy Spirit, and since He is participating in the moment with us, it would be absurd to ask Him to take part in such grievousness.

A Holy Sexual Union

Sex becomes more than just a physical act. When we realize the Holy Spirit is participating with us, we also understand that He produces a spiritual connection to our husband who is a fellow believer. This is an unparalleled connection that we simply cannot have with any other human on earth other than our husbands.

This is the one thing no one else can understand but us as a couple. This type of oneness is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. The world will never understand the connection, no matter how hard the enemy works to counterfeit it.

Guard Against Counterfeits

Dear, sweet sister in Christ, lean in really close while I encourage you… Do not let the enemy’s counterfeits creep into your marriage. Protect your marriage bed with the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.

When the enemy of your marriage tries to tempt you with the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the boastful pride of life remember the Lord Himself designed marriage and the beautiful, appropriate, wholesome union of sex between believing spouses. (1 John 2:16; Genesis 3:7)

Now, thank the Lord for His design and then go tell your husband how much you love him.